Mr. AWESOME - A Halloween Spook

It's that time of the year when Jack-o'lanterns are inter-mixed with ghouls and gobblins. And AWESOME Brian will again be on his all fours howling up at the moon. You see folks, Brian the Wolfman has much in common with a good friend of this site - Eddie Munster.

Aside from both doing their thing during a full moon and both wearing Lord Fauntleroy suits, Eddie carries around his Woof-Woof doll, "Wolfie", while Brian carries around his AWESOME "Straight Goods" web blog where ever he goes. Imagine that!

So beware of spooks on All Hallows Eve, folks, and especially another howler from Brian on the AWESOME Straight Goods.


Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME Fought the Law and The Law Won

Well, well well. Another day another Mr. AWESOME revelation. From being criminally charged in Burnaby Provincial Court to the Port Alberni Law Courts, Mr. Brian Lorne Gough has a rap sheet longer than his own toilet paper roll.

My, my, my. Is it no wonder, then, that good old Brian flew the coop from Burnaby Edmonds and fled all the way up to Garden Bay? And uses aliases such as Grant Gough, Vincent Grant, and J Gough? You can run, but you can't hide Brian. Baaaaad Brian. Bad!

One Adam-12, One Adam-12...... a 415 is currently in progress on Claydon Road in Garden Bay....... Over............

Mr. AWESOME obviously forgot to take his meds today with his most recent incoherent blabberings:

 ________________________________________________________________

"The site owner was soliciting funds in my name, no pay pal was set up, but.... soliciting funds in someone else`s name without any permission granted or even asked is a illegally felony!...A fraud and felony, serious stuff, so there`s the deal, AGT has admitted having contact with an admitted felon, perhaps someone will be getting a knock knock on the door!.The police will be in touch Brad, and when that story breaks about one of Gordon Campbell`s PAB employees"
___________________________________________________________________


Folks, people ask us all the time....... Is this guy for real? Ummmm yup. That's our Brian. These type of outer space conspiracy theorists still exist.

Here you go Brian..... Here's some nice police chatter from your favourite cop show:


http://www.televisiontunes.com/Adam_12.html


Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME Flies Over the Cuckoo's Nest (UPDATED - Further UPDATED)

Folks, we all knew that Mr. AWESOME Brian Gough is, shall we say, not wired properly upstairs - as in poor short circuitry. Yesterday was a clear cut case of major short circuitry.

Mr. AWESOME posted a message to an earlier post here fraudulently pretending to be Alex Tsakumis as follows:

________________________________________________________________

Alex G Tsakumis said...

Hi Brad

Keep it coming, between you and I we`ll run all those ndp fuckers out of town, Laila mule and her big fucking scoop. She has nothing on my silly hall series, rank amateurs and pill popping drunks from garden bay, fucking morons, I`m the king of bloggers and a nice guy, ask my mom,she`ll confirm.

Take care Pal

October 27, 2010 12:16 AM
_______________________________________________________________

Good old Brian used an old scam/internet trick pretending to be and posting as Alex Tsakumis, which would cause one to return to Alex Tsakumis' website. Baaaaaaaaaaad Brian. Bad! A Brian Brain Superfart™.

You see folks, good old Brian uses DCCNET for both his e-mail address (jgough@dccnet.com) and his internet access. DCCNET is Delta Cable Communications, which services Delta, Point Roberts, and the Sunshine Coast (Sechelt) where Mr. Awesome has his humble abode in Garden Bay.

Here's Brian's IP address and the rest of his stats from his 12:16 am visit/posting here:

_________________________________________________________________


VISITOR ANALYSIS

Host Name
IP Address 24.207.119.44 [Label IP Address]
Country Canada
Region British Columbia
City Sechelt
ISP Delta Cable Communications
Entry Page Time 27th October 2010 00:03:02
Visit Length 1 hour 51 mins 9 secs

VISITOR SYSTEM SPECS

Browser Firefox 3.6
Operating System Win7
Resolution 1024x768
Javascript Enabled
_________________________________________________________________

And of course, Mr. Tsakumis could smell a rat right away and posted the following after good old Brian's scam posting:

__________________________________________________________________

A. G. Tsakumis said... 


"Whoever is running this blog needs to remove this comment immediately. I never made it and wouldn't. Please remove it immediately and publish the IP address of the offending idiot that did post it.

Although it's pretty clear who's responsible. Nice try Brian.

Thank you.
A. G. (Alex) Tsakumis
alexgtsakumis.com

OCTOBER 27, 2010 1:53 PM
________________________________________________________________


http://briangough.blogspot.com/2010/10/mr-awesome-attracts-fruit-loops-with.html

Boy oh boy oh boy! Mr. AWESOME has now flown over the Cuckoo's Nest!

UPDATED:  Yikes and double yikes. Mr. AWESOME has topped himself with his latest post. Please read for the sheer entertainment value:

http://powellriverpersuader.blogspot.com/2010/10/luke-skywalkerluke-cool-handbradpublic.html

FURTHER UPDATED:

AWESOME Brian Gough just posted:
_____________________________________________________________

"I retract any apology to the rude crude Alex G Tsakumis, it`s come to my attention that he has said some filthy things about Laila Yuile"
_______________________________________________________________

Yet, as we all know, it was Mr. AWESOME Brian himself who deceitfully posted those "filthy things about Laila Yuile" in Alex Tsakumis' name on this site, with the confirming IP address and date stamp of the AWESOME Straight Goods. Laila Yuille, on her own blog, denied that allegation as follows:
________________________________________________________________
Laila [Yuile], on October 28, 2010 at 11:23 am Said:

"Alex G. Tsakumis states he did not make that comment, and he would never say anything like that. As well, he states he does not have anything to do with that site linked to in a previous comment by a reader. For the record."
_________________________________________________________________

Atta boy Brian! Go take your meds.

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME - Attracts Fruit Loops With Sugar and Spice

Most people - like you and me - enjoy their breakfast cereal. One with a sweet tooth can even enjoy the the occasional bowl of Fruit Loops. But good old Brian takes the word Fruit Loops to a new level.

Case in Point - today Mr. AWESOME put his fingertips onto his keyboard and then Abracadabra he had another Brian Brain Fart ™.
_________________________________________________
"I am actually being too kind to the Vancouver Sun, the word journalism doesn`t apply to most of their articles, a better description would be spin, distortion and or repeating lies, lies from the Campbell public affairs bureau."
_________________________________________________

You see, MR. AWESOME has always been a conspiracy theorist of the most Fruit Loopy kind. That's why Mr. AWESOME also has an interest in astronomy as his musings are wayyyyy out in outer space. But those same Fruit Loopy musings, sprinkled with sugar and spice, also attracts the same Fruit Loops from Mr. AWESOME's ilk on the 'net. Case in point - good old Brian received this response:

_________________________________________________


Evil Eye said...

Fazil Mihlar is a fascist, in the school of 1920's & 30's fascists which includes some notable people, including Adolph Hitler, Benito Mussolini and Fransisco Franco.

Fascism seek to organize a nation according to corporatist perspectives, values, and systems, including the political system and the economy. In a corporatist state, the corporations have more rights than citizens.

A Fascist state does not believe in freedom, but enslavement - free will is to be despised.

To gain political control, Fascists target newspapers and from what I have seen, the Vancouver sun has succumbed to fascist overseers. Left unchecked, fascists will soon control all and when that happens, just look and see what the NAZI Fascist party did with people they did not like."
_________________________________________________________

Godwin's Law invoked again. Looks like Brian and 'Evil Eye' forgot to take their meds today. Fruit Loops could be another description. Residents of Garden Bay beware!

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME - Today's Version of Wrongway Feldman

Watching old Gilligan's Island reruns can be a welcoming respite from some of the fare broadcast on television today. Take the episode with Wrongway Feldman. Wrongway never could get anything right. Even if he had today's GPS technology handy he would still land his plane in Timbuktu instead of New York City.

No one could ever follow Wrongway Feldman in his footsteps. Or could they? Sometimes fiction mirrors reality. And none other than good old AWESOME Brian would be able to prove that point.

Today, AWESOME Brian has come out with another doozy. Keep on cranking them out Brian [with further information in Parentheses]:
_____________________________________________________________
"(P.S. a special message to my superfans)        No problem Luke Skywalker/Luke redux/Cool hand [characters from the movie Star Wars], or should I say Brad Z [Brad Zubyk, worked for Mike Harcourt's NDP and was a Vision Vancouver strategist helping NDP MLA Gregor Robertson win Vancouver's mayoral candidacy]

....But there is one thing you didn`t consider, readers will be pointing fingers at the "Frogman" [Alex Tsakumis].....And reputation is everything, not that he [Alex Tsakumis] has one,  make sure to tell your friend this .....We know why he [Alex Tsakumis] is furious at Mike Klassen and Sammy, ...Sammy praised citycaucus.com for bringing the NPA back to life...And the "Frog" [Alex Tsakumis] wasn`t mentioned at all...That is too funny!  That sure is a big old JEALOUSY STREAK....Everyone seeking power distance`s themselves from the Frog [Alex Tsakumis] ...He is "toxic"
______________________________________________________________

http://powellriverpersuader.blogspot.com/2010/10/say-hello-to-gordon-wilsonthe-newest.html

Another Brian Brain Fart ™. So you see folks, good old Brian doesn't have two legs to stand on...... he doesn't even have one leg to stand on. He just can't seem to get anything right. So he has no other alternative but to make typical laaa deee daaa accusations inclusive of calling Alex Tsakumis a "frog" and a "frogman" who is "toxic". Brilliant stuff. Only Brian can make Wrongway Feldman look like "Rightway Feldman". Atta boy Brian.

As Alex Tsakumis further succinctly stated today:

"It's worth noting that he [Good old Brian] should be considered dangerous since his meds are clearly not working. Residents of Garden Bay beware!"

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

BREAKING NEWS - AWESOME Brian Goes Loco (UPDATED)

Folks, BREAKING NEWS........ journalist Alex Tsakumis has AWESOME Brian picture painted perfectly today:
_______________________________________________________________________

"Brian:
I really think you need to stop trying to pretend that you are anything other than a very mentally disturbed individual. If I heard that the McDonald’s in Garden Bay had a 6am incident with ten people dead and about another dozen injured, I’d have no problem betting quite heavily that you’d gotten yourself a gun.

Look, no one reads you, you have zilch credibility. Your contentions are insane. I’m sorry that fools like Laila Yuile and BC Mary provide you platform but face it: You’re a nut. 

If I released the insane locked up comments you’ve made privately to me, someone would seek to have you . Don’t bother with a reply. CKNW banned you as they should have. As have a dozen or so blogs. You resonate with cowards and the lunatic fringe of bloggers–simply those in the blogosphere that demand an NDP government and think there is a conspiracy behind every tree. 

Please go sell crazy elsewhere. Honestly, I’m surprised that in a place like Garden Bay someone hasn’t slammed the door on your empty head a few times. Or maybe they have and that’s why you’re so “articulate” and “sensible”. Go away Mosquito Man."
_____________________________________________________________________

Alex Tsakumis wrote the above today in his comments section, in response to Brian's post, at this link:

http://alexgtsakumis.com/2010/10/22/breaking-news-gordon-campbell-internal-poll-at-all-time-low/

Folks, you just can't buy this entertainment on television.

UPDATE from Alex Tsakumis:
__________________________________________________________________
"I’m sure in such a cosmopolitan center [Garden Bay] with such a famous and highly respected journalist [AWESOME Brian], I’m sure there is no shortage of other fine dining. Although it’s a pity since McDonald’s in honor of Brian Gough could feature the Big Hack, the Quarter Flounder, the Filet ‘o Fool, and Brian’s favorite, the Chicken McFucked It."
__________________________________________________________________

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Brian - Why The Charade With Grant?

Brian, Brian, Brian. We all know Brian from Garden Bay. Brian's voice is akin to leaving his fingerprint at a crime scene. But what does Brian do? He calls up the Bill Good Show and calls himself "Grant from Sechelt". Brian, Brian, Brian. My goodness.

And right off the bat, Keith Baldrey recognizes Brian's voice. AWESOME! So people listening to CKNW caught Brian in a lie by referring himself as Grant. Another Dumb and Dumber moment that we call a Brian Brain Fart ™.

And just prior to Brian picking up his phone, both Vaughn Palmer and Keith Baldrey spoke about the anonymous nutbars posting on the internet with their conspiracy theories. And Brian was one of them. Atta boy Brian!

Thanks for the morning humour Brian. You are just AWESOME!

And now this doozy from the AWESOME Straight Goods:

"there was a couple of great calls, including one call from someone named Grant at about 9:38 AM...Although they cut him off before he could get his other 2 points out in the airwaves."

Ummmmmm, Brian, knock, knock........ who are you trying to fool? Yourself? Now you misspoke saying that you didn't have the opportunity to speak gibberish about two other matters? What a comedian. You're just toooooo AWESOME!


Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME On the Coals Again

Ahhhh. It's quite humourous when AWESOME Brian gets noticed for all the wrong reasons. Mr. AWESOME attracts people from his same ilk - wandering space cadets from outer space - nutbars, wingnuts and what have you. And that's OK. And Alex Tsakumis, who is well read and well versed, has never seen a space cadet like good old Brian. To wit:

"Brian the Insane Idiot from Garden Bay, who runs a blog about electing the NDP, defaming people and getting almost every story wrong, made offside comments about Harv’s girth, and another series of comments about eating donuts. More Gough than you, and I’m surprised Harv tolerates that, however, it’s stupid and you at least are far more intelligent than Gough and shouldn’t stoop so low."

Awwww............ that's so cute! Now where would the world be without AWESOME Brian's idiocy?  We would all have less belly laughs without Mr. AWESOME, that's where!

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME Just Guzzles Them Back

Well, well, well. Folks we all know that AWESOME Brian usually makes it a one or two kegger beer night on Fridays and Saturdays but sources have informed us that Mr. AWESOME has now taken to one night beer keggers even during the middle of the week. And last night was one of them.

Shockingly disturbing. And we now have the evidence of the effect that this overindulgence of Beeeeeerr can have upon good old Brian's brain. Good old Brian now has hemorrhoids in his brain and the stench is completely nauseating. More Brian Brain Farts™  from today:

"Carole Taylor took an important job at UBC."

Bri, we all know that you graduated from grade 6 but Carole Taylor went to SFU - Can you spell S-F-U? And Mr. Awesome, it doesn't mean Shut the Fu%@ Up! My, my my.

And check this doozy out:

"my super fan, you know the one, the fat little hating frog from St Georges preppy boy school wrote a post calling me deranged, off my rocker for writing my post about collecting legal fees, he laughed, he tee-hee,ed,"

Atta boy Brian! That's Nutty. Even a chipmunk wouldn't touch that nut.

"And foul mouthed haters should make sure they clip their toe nails before sticking their feet in their mouth!"

Nuts! The BC Government definitely needs to re-open Riverview. Help is on the way Brian! Just watch a re-run of 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' tonight during the interim.

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME - Gone Nuts

Folks..... some people have gone fishing...... while others have simply gone nuts. Looks like Brian is in the latter category and has gone off the deep end this time. Was it a three kegger beer night Brian? Let's explain and look more deeply into what thoughts are flying around in Brian's head.... more well known as Brian's Brain Farts™.

"...A toss up between a deranged bat wielding lunatic whose mind snaps, haven`t girls been killed recently by "bat wielding lunatics"?????.....When one carries a bat or weapon in their car, when a person takes a bat to an altercation what outcome is likely?...A bat kills, what sick bastard pulls out a bat unless they are prepared to use it...the police may want to talk to a bat wielding lunatic! If I had a daughter I would live in fear of ever being too far away to protect her from "bat wielding lunatics"....

Say Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

I mean Huhhhhhhh?

Knock, knock..... everything Okey Dokey Brian?

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME! 

The Straight Goods - The Shocker

My, my, my. It takes alot to faze AWESOME Brian. The Soviet Bloc collapses in 1990 and it doesn't faze Brian in the least. The World Trade Centre collapses on 9/11/01 and good old Brian is still not fazed - it's just another meh situation. So what actually fazes Brian? What actually causes Brian to become shocked? Well, here's some insight folks and old Brian made it known yesterday - Pay close attention:

"Carole James`s speech at the last convention was a shocker, a speech written by Moe Sihota...A speech that shocked the party faithful..."

"A unannounced change of direction, a dictorial approach by Moe and Carole...." (sic)

Folks, we now have a perfect insight into AWESOME Brian's wiring upstairs. You see, Brian's circuitry upstairs is wired completely different and opposite from both you and me. And that's no mean feat!

And since it's Friday again today, inquiring minds want to know whether it's a one or two kegger beer night? Fess up Brian.


Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME - Secret KAOS Agent

Brian, Brian, Brian. You are just getting too AWESOME for us all! Gone are the days when Brian used to watch his favourite secret agent man series..... "GET SMART!" Good old Brian used to detest Maxwell Smart (Agent 86) and his Agent 99 cohort at CONTROL.

Unlike all other Get Smart viewers, Brian always had an affixation with KAOS............. "The International Organization of Evil." You see, Brian always envisioned himself as "Shtarker" from KAOS ........ Siegfried's chief henchman who was an overzealous lackey whose most notable trait was his abrupt personality change from sadistic villain to presumptuous child.

And we see the same traits come out from AWESOME Brian to this day. Regarding NDP leader Carole James......... to wit:

"Carole James has failed to communicate anything"
"Let the NDP bloodletting begin!" 

Here we have Brian's same personality traits of Shtarker being overzealous but when posters on AWESOME Brian's site slap him down good, old Brian makes an abrupt personality change from sadistic villain to Shtarker's presumptuous child personality. To wit:

"We probably can win with Carole James"
"If Carole James survives,I will support the team"

Atta boy Brian!

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME Says Two Birds in the Bush Are Better Than a Bird In the Hand!

Another day and Awesome Brian has Another Brian Brain Fart™. Just look at this doozy:
"We will be called socialists"

It seems that Mr. AWESOME has not yet read the Constitution of the BC New Democratic Party:

The New Democratic Party believes that social, economic and political progress in Canada can only be assured by the application of democratic socialist principles to government and the administration of public affairs.
The principles of democratic socialism can be defined briefly as follows:

a) the production and distribution of goods and services shall be directed to meeting the social and individual needs of people and not for profit,

b) where necessary, the extension of the principle of social ownership.

http://www.bcndp.ca/files/uploads/Constitution_2009.pdf

Knock, knock........ Hello Mr. AWESOME - if the NDP constitutes itself as democratic socialists and calls for social ownership of the means of production and says that profit is bad - What's dat? What is dat? The NDP calls itself socialist yet Mr. AWESOME doesn't want anyone else calling the NDP socialist. Awwwww.

You see folks, Brian never has been the sharpest knife in the drawer. Nothing wrong with that.

And here's another doozy by Brian:

"Panic sets in amongst the BC Liberals who immediately put the public affairs bureau into high gear. all these same clowns who attacked Carole James with vengeance have now changed their minds and are defending her."

You see folks Brian has no concept of politics. He lives in Politics 101 wonderland from 1969. Not that that's bad either. It might even be AWESOME! So here's the real deal on what's going on folks.

The Liberals just love the current dissension within NDP ranks. They have a new bounce in them now and love the focus of attention turning away from their HST debacle. The Liberals know the old axiom - "United we stand and divided we fall." And they now see public division within NDP ranks. And so does the public. And the public will now see that the NDP can't be trusted by ripping itself apart. And the NDP will start to drop in public opinion. And on it goes.

The public narrative and water cooler talk will now focus upon Carole James. From a Liberal perspective - What's not to like?

Once these fissures crack further open within the NDP - internecine warfare will develop. The NDP will rip itself apart with so many different camps in the party. And that's NDP internal history. The NDP will then continue in a downward spiral in public opinion. AWESOME Brian!

And who would replace Carole James but these second and third rate stringers?

1. Bonehead Mike Farnworth who has cried on TV too many times?
2. Adrian Dix with his false memo while Glen Clark's protege?
3. And good old Brian's favourite, John Horgan, who was a Glen Clark advisor - who no one has ever heard of?

The Liberals will dig up the garbage on these guys and paint them like the federal Tories have painted Stephane Dion and Iggy once they were elected party leaders. Brilliant Brian! 

And finally Brian completes his latest brain fart:

"Carole, you can take some free advice from the Straight Goods"

 AWESOME! The Straight Goods that is.

And here's AWESOME Brian's real agenda - To destroy the NDP. Why? AWESOME Brian said it himself.....

""This Powell River Persuader will be "B.C. First Party`s" most staunch supporter and will promote and put your platform out there for all to see." 

Atta boy Mr. AWESOME. Some agenda!

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME Gets His Stooges Mixed Up

Well, well, well. AWESOME Brian has this knack for getting his stooges mixed up. Now, on the face of it, there is nothing wrong with that. As BC's "King of the Bloggers", Alex Tsakumis, once cogently stated about good old Brian:

_________________________________________________
His positions are so completely screwball crazy that words can’t describe his nuttiness. He is a shill for the NDP and has actually uttered, several times, that he considers “socialism is really democracy.”
_________________________________________________

Now is that tough love or what? BC's pre-eminent media broadcasters/scribes include the following:

1. Bill Good (CKNW) -
- 2009 Bruce Hutchison Lifetime Achievement Award recipient
- Jack Webster Award recipient
- BC Broadcaster of the Year Award recipient
- ACTRA award recipient
- 38 years in journalism

2. Vaughn Palmer (Vancouver Sun)
- 26 years years reporting on BC political scene
- Stanford University journalism fellowship recipient

3. Keith Baldrey (Global BC)
- 27 years reporting on BC political scene 

Well respected, with over 90 years of combined journalistic experience. And AWESOME Brian calls these guys Stooges. Oh the humanity! Here's a just taste of AWESOME Brian's latest musings:
_________________________________________________________
The whole cutting ledge show today was about Carole James, and guess what, Palmer/Baldrey/Good were all defending Carole James
You see folks this is where I read the Stooge`s plan, their marching orders, if you regular listeners to the show couldn`t sense the fear in Baldrey/Palmer and Good
_________________________________________________________

Now that's NUTTY stuff. You see folks, AWESOME Brian denigrates these guys...... but guess what? He won't change his dial from CKNW on the radio, he still reads the Vancouver Sun every day. That's right. Good old Brian still continues to listen to Bill Good, watch Keith Baldrey, and read Vaughn Palmer every day! Now that's a hoot.

Any rational individual, with AWESOME Brian's apparent disparaging remarks about these three gentlemen, would obviously just tune these guys out. But not our AWESOME Brian. That's because good old Brian secretly respects these guys. What does it all boil down to? More Brian Brain Farts™. In fact, the stench of Brian's Brain Farts™ rekindles memories of Lynyrd Skynyrd's little ditty: "Ooh, ooh that smell - Can't you smell that smell?"

As for BC's REAL three stooges - Moe, Lali, and Farny - they take the cake. Ergo, inquiring minds look forward to AWESOME Brian's future meanderings on same at the AWESOME Straight Goods.

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

AWESOME Brian - Self Imposed WPP

Folks...... as a service and courtesy to the people of British Columbia, the Public Affairs Bureau has now informed us that AWESOME Brian has placed himself into his own version of the Witness Protection Program. It's self-imposed. Imagine that!!

You see folks ....... AWESOME Brian's legal name is Brian Lorne Gough.

Brian is hiding for various reasons and is using the alias Grant Gough. Baaaaaaaaaaaad Brian. Baaaaaaaaaaad!!

But Brian is also operating a business under the auspices of Grant's TV & Video up in Garden Bay. What's up with that Doc?

And then to further fool the people, Brian tells the local yokels in Garden Bay that his name is Vincent Grant. Oh the humanity!!!!

So folks.... to put the layout of the land in front of you in a simplistic manner..... Here's AWESOME Brian's aliases from his own delusional Witness Protection Program:

1. Brian Lorne Gough

2. Grant Gough

3. Vincent Grant

Folks.... you can't even buy this entertainment on satellite television!

AWESOME Brian, our readers, with their inquisitive minds, want you to now explain the "Straight Goods", concerning this fallacy, to us all!

We're sure that your explanation will be AWESOME!

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWSEOME Had a Two Keg Friday Night

TWILIGHT ZONE

Somewhere in a lonely hotel room
there’s a guy starting to realize
That eternal fate has turned it's back on him
It's two a.m.

It's two a.m. the fear has gone
Maybe my connection is tired of taken chances
Yeah there's a storm on the loose sirens in my head
I'm wrapped up in silence all circuits are dead
I cannot decode
My whole life spins into a frenzy

Help I'm steppin' into the twilight zone _______________________________________________________________

It's very easy to discern when AWESOME Brian has chugged back two kegs of Beeeeeeer on a Friday night. His Saturday morning hangover gets the best of him. His mind becomes delusional.  The stench of his Brain Farts becomes so acute that it overpowers the stench of the air wafting in from the local sewage treatment plant.

That's when............ AWESOME Brian has entered the Twilight Zone. Delusions of Grandeur come all but too quick:
___________________________________________________________
"When I say I have the PAB instructions, when I say I`m privy to Campbell`s strategy I mean it...

I have impeccable sources in both legislative camps, and who knows what information I might be receiving from Sean Leslie`s wife(who works for the PAB)

Who knows who is leaking me the plans...Besides me and my shadow...
____________________________________________________________

Now those are doozies - even for AWESOME Brian. How AWESOME!!!!!!!

And folks..... here's a candid camera photo of good old Brian taken this morning after Friday night's beer drinking binge. It's just AWESOME!

 

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME Just Can't Shoot Straight

Well, well, well. Another day, another AWESOME Brian moment. When Brian was playing Cowboys and Indians as a kid, he was always known as the "Crookedest Gun In the West". Good Old Bri just couldn't shoot straight. In fact, that's why he always got scalped. My goodness.

And that's why the cat always ate the mouse:

_______________________________________________________

You obliged and took the bait!....

Well super fan from Surrey, how was the cheese?...Now what fat, round, bitter little troll do we know who lives in Surrey and spews bile garbage?...I think our regular readers can figure it out, as for you, "revenge is a dish best served cold"
_______________________________________________________

Today's AWESOME question: Is it a one or two kegger Friday beer night Brian?

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Brian's Dumb and Dumber Moment

"Hi, Lloyd!"
"Hi, Harry!"
"How was your day?"
"Not bad. Fell off a jet way again."
- Harry and Lloyd in Dumb & Dumber

______________________________________________________________________

Well, well, well. Awesome Brian always had a fetish for the movie Dumb and Dumber. Many people ask - Why? Good question. Is it because Mr. Awesome has some personality traits in common with Harry and Lloyd?

Let's see. Today Awesome Brian posted another one of the Straight Goods most AWESOME postings.

Brian tried to flick on the "fact checker" on his blog to ensure the factual correctness of his posting. Wottttttttttttttttttttttt? Brian went.... hmmmmmmmmm... where is dattt button?

Realizing that datt button didn't exist, Awesome Brian went ahead and posted anyway. Now let's look at the result of just one of Brian's "facts":

__________________________________________________
In fact Larry Campbell who bought three pre-sale units wants out.
__________________________________________________

From CTV News:
Campbell thinks it's a great place to live, especially now that he's commuting to Ottawa for his job as a senator."I walk out my door. I go down to the Canada Line. I'm at the airport," he said.

From the Vancouver Sun:

Campbell said: "I didn't buy this to sell," he says. "I didn't buy this to flip. I bought this because this is my home.

Atttttta boy Brian. Another Dumb and Dumber brain fart moment. The truth shall set you free!!!!

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

His AWESOMENESS Is Just Awesome

His AWESOMENESS has struck again. It's no wonder that AWESOME Brian was habitually outfitted in a Swami costume come every Halloween. It's because he had that crystal ball insight, that  "faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound" clairvoyant mindset.

Just yesterday his AWESOMENESS said "Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?" And you know what - this is what popped into Brian's head:
_____________________________________________________________
"I have the numbers, Carole James will not survive the "mandatory leadership vote" at the next NDP convention"
_____________________________________________________________

Can you believe that! "I HAVE THE NUMBERS" said Brian.

And it gets even better. Oh the humanity of it all:
______________________________________________________________
"Carole James gets dumped, a new NDP leader emerges, the NDP jump 15% to 20% in the polls"
 ______________________________________________________________

But then Vaughn Palmer intervened and broke Brian's crystal ball by saying: "Brian...... Brian.... You're wrong as usual."

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

Mr. AWESOME Strikes Again

It comes as no surprise that the AWESOME Straight Goods takes a leaf out of the Weekly World News. Brian has oft bought the WWN as his version of a sleeping pill in order for the Sandman to do his thing.

AWESOME Brian literally believed that Hillary Clinton adopted an alien baby after a UFO crashed into the backyard of Bubba's parental units in Arkansas. Too much reading of the WWN has obviously taken a toll on the mish-mash that Brian calls a brain. He can't tell the difference between fiction and reality anymore. Brian even calls himself a brainiac. Uh oh!

Folks, today Brian had another BRIAN (errr - BRAIN) FART!

___________________________________________________________
"Tonight it has been revealed that Kash Heed also overspent on the campaign itself."
___________________________________________

As the Church Lady used to say - “Well, isn't that SPE-CIAL? ...

Folks, Brian has always been a sensationalist. It's in his blood ---- It's in his veins. It's the cold beer talking again. Mr. Awesome should have been forthright: The campaign spending limit for the constituency of Vancouver-Fraserview was $70,000. But Kash Heed's campaign spent $70,289.55. OMG, the sky is falling. The campaign overspent by a massive $289.55 - amounting to about 20 large pizzas for campaign staff.

Ma and Pa Gough always said that Brian had a history of exaggeration. Today represents one of his Whopper days. (No offense to Burger King)

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME! [Both in Colour and in Sensurround]

Mr. AWESOME Has Lost Some Marbles

Well, well, well. We all know that Brian Gough still longs for the day that the old stubby beer bottle will one day make its return. In a future AWESOME episode, we will discuss Brian's "Love of Beer".

But today we look at the effects of Brian's love for Beer. No doubt exists as to Brian's jealous tirades against the "King of the Bloggers" as the Vancouver Sun has proclaimed Alex G. Tsakumis to be. Now why would that be? Because Brian is not even able to utilize the spell-check function? Because Brian attracts people from the lunatic fringe?

Mr. Tsakumis opines this about Mr. AWESOME:
_____________________________________________________________________
"People too cowardly to leave their real name (including the NDP-loving discredited drunk from Garden Bay). Gough is really quite sick but the daily trips to the general store in Garden Bay don’t help. He’s been banned with good reason. his positions are so completely screwball crazy that words can’t describe his nuttiness. He litters his comments section with comments he puts up as ‘Anonymous’ and then replies to them! Unbelievable. He is shill for the NDP and has actually uttered, several times, that he considers “socialism is really democracy.”His spelling and grammar remind me of my daughter Giulia’s…she’s five.
______________________________________________________________________

Brian, the truth shall set you free!

And yet today Mr. AWESOME, with his fingertips on the keyboard (thank Gawd not on the nuclear button), flies off into outer space yet again driveling on about Liberal MLA Kash Heed.

But it doesn't matter. Mr. AWESOME's disjointed brain has yet another BRAIN FART
and brings Mr. Tsakumis into the same equation:
________________________________________________________________________
"Just because AGT has exonerated John Les and Kash Heed and every other BC Liberal, anyone AGT considers a friend he looks the other way and ignores crime and obvious conflict even if it is staring him in the face, that my friends is why AGT is a NPA hack, actually AGT is a HACK on all levels."
________________________________________________________________________

The real question that should be answered is:

Brian, how many bottles of beer have you had today???

Stay tuned for another episode of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!

AWESOME - The Brian Gough Story

Well folks, our first post today about BC's most AWESOME blogger - Brian Gough at the Straight Goods.

http://powellriverpersuader.blogspot.com/


Of course, Brian is a little bit chicken and only leaves his name as Grant G. Why is that? Well folks, it's because he doesn't want anyone to know his real name for many reasons. Sometimes Brian has been referred to as the "Don Knotts" of the blogosphere - as in the "Ghost and Mr. Chicken".

Brian Lorne Gough was born on a sunny day on May 7, 1964. The birds were twittering and all was fine.

He grew up and then became a carpenter - he always had a thing for the hammer.

But one fine day many years ago, Brian was leaning against his shovel and he fell off - so worker's compensation could set in. WCB saw through the smokescreen and said NO - baaaaaad Brian - baaaaaaaaaaaaad!

Then Brian pouted and wanted more compensation so he sued WCB in 2006.

GOUGH, Brian v WORKERS' COMPENSATION BOARD

Supreme Court of British Columbia
Vancouver Registry
File No.: 65509
File Date: August 25, 2006

It didn't work out too well, so Brian, then living in the Edmonds area of Burnaby, moved up to the Sunshine Coast. It can get boring up there so Brian decided to try to use up his time. Singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" while chugging one back just didn't cut it.

So Brian started listening to the radio all day long - more particularly CKNW to keep him busy. He then constantly called in to the morning Bill Good Show and the afternoon Christy Clark Show and used the moniker "Brian from Garden Bay". Well that didn't work out so he was banned from CKNW. But he still listens because he enjoys their shows - not that he would ever admit to that.

To keep himself busy, Brian also watches the BC legislative channel. Most people consider that to be watching grass grow - but not our Brian.

Simultaneously with the radio on, the teevee on, Brian also has the internet on all day long surfing news sites and posting comments in threads under various names. Most people only dream of such a lifestyle - it's akin to the lifestyle of the Rich and Famous.

And then the day that made Brian so proud was the day that he received his canvasser identification from Elections BC effective April 12 2010. Brian still keeps his ID No. IPC-2010-002-2740 handy. He felt like a proud papa when he was officially recognized.

Brian also enjoys his cold beer - lots of cold beer but it costs aplenty. So if you wish to donate some funds to Brian's "Let's Keep Drinking Beer Campaign" we know that he would appreciate it if you could forward some greenbacks to his e-mail address at:

jgough@dccnet.com.

Stay tuned for another edition of ..... Brian Gough and the Straight Goods are AWESOME!